How to Help Your Partner During a Panic Attack
Panic attacks can be deeply unsettling for both the person experiencing them and their loved ones. If your partner suffers from panic attacks, it may be difficult to know how to support them during these intense moments. The overwhelming feelings of fear, breathlessness, and even a sense of losing control can be incredibly challenging. However, knowing how to respond can make all the difference in helping your partner feel safe and supported.
In this blog post, we’ll explore some practical strategies for helping your partner through a panic attack. By implementing these techniques, you can provide comfort and stability during a time of distress, improving both your partner’s well-being and your relationship.
What is a Panic Attack?
A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear or discomfort that peaks within minutes. It often includes physical symptoms such as a racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, chest pain, trembling, and a feeling of impending doom. These attacks can happen unexpectedly and without warning, even when there is no real danger present, leaving the person feeling helpless and frightened (American Psychiatric Association [APA], 2013).
How to Help Your Partner During a Panic Attack
1. Stay Calm and Grounded
During a panic attack, your partner will likely feel overwhelmed by fear. The most helpful thing you can do is stay calm. If you panic or appear anxious, your partner may feel that the situation is more dangerous than it actually is. Deep breathing and a calm demeanor can help both of you stay grounded in the moment.
2. Offer Reassurance
People having a panic attack often feel like they are in danger, even if there is no threat. Gently reassure your partner that they are safe and that the attack will eventually subside. Statements like "I’m here for you" or "You’re safe, and this will pass" can provide much-needed comfort (Craske et al., 2017).
3. Encourage Slow, Deep Breathing
One of the best ways to calm a panic attack is by focusing on slow, deep breaths. Panic attacks activate the body’s fight-or-flight response, and slow breathing helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts this stress response. Encourage your partner to take slow, deep breaths, such as using the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, and exhale for eight seconds (Friedman et al., 2018).
4. Create a Safe and Quiet Environment
If possible, move your partner to a quieter environment to help them regain control. Minimizing stimuli—such as loud noises, bright lights, or crowded spaces—can help reduce the intensity of the panic attack. Create a calm atmosphere with soothing words, soft lighting, and minimal distractions.
5. Avoid Dismissing Their Feelings
It’s important to avoid minimizing or dismissing your partner’s experience. While it may be tempting to say things like, "It’s not a big deal" or "Just calm down," such comments may invalidate their emotions and make them feel worse. Instead, listen with empathy, and acknowledge that what they’re feeling is real and difficult (Gruber, 2020).
6. Use Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques can help distract your partner from their panic and bring them back to the present moment. Try guiding them through the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise, where they focus on:
Five things they can see
Four things they can touch
Three things they can hear
Two things they can smell
One thing they can taste
This technique helps to refocus their mind on their immediate environment, breaking the cycle of panic (Rosenbaum et al., 2019).
7. Give Them Space If Needed
While you may want to be as supportive as possible, sometimes the best thing you can do is give your partner space. They may prefer to sit quietly or focus on calming themselves without interaction. Let them know you are available if they need you, but respect their wishes if they prefer to be alone for a while.
Conclusion
Panic attacks can be incredibly overwhelming, but your support can make a significant difference in how your partner navigates these challenging experiences. By staying calm, offering reassurance, guiding them through grounding and breathing techniques, and respecting their space, you can provide comfort and safety during a panic attack. Remember, these moments are temporary, and with patience and understanding, your partner will gradually regain control.
If you or your partner are struggling with panic attacks or other mental health concerns, I am here to help. As a licensed psychotherapist, I offer a safe and supportive space for individuals and couples to work through these challenges. Contact me today to schedule an appointment, and let’s start your journey toward healing and emotional well-being.
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References
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
Craske, M. G., Kircanski, K., Zelikowsky, M., et al. (2017). Evolution of treatments for anxiety disorders. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 13, 411-439. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032816-045215
Friedman, M. J., Resick, P. A., & Keane, T. M. (2018). Posttraumatic stress disorder: A clinical review. JAMA, 320(3), 307-319. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2018.7470
Gruber, J. (2020). Anxiety disorders and relationships: Understanding the impact on intimate partnerships. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 42(3), 243-256.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427-440.
Rosenbaum, B., Sinding, C., & Hansen, L. A. (2019). Grounding techniques in the treatment of panic disorder. The Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 63, 50-59. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2019.05.002